If I wasn't a chossid I'd be a nihilist

Nihilism and chassidism seem to be on opposite ends of the philosophical spectrum, yet my contorted mind seems to believe that I can reconcile them. It’s likely that I cannot, but at the very least I can explain why I am drawn to each philosophy, and justify why I choose chassidism as my predominant world view.

I think that after giving a brief discription of each philosophy, it will be self evident why they are at ends. Firstly I’ll explain What is Nihilism and why am I drawn to it? What is Chassidism and why does it prevent me from being a nihilist?

Nihilism is, at least in my view, the philosophy that life has no meaning and that nothing is real. This is a wonderful outlook on things. If nothing means anything, then nothing really matters. Free from the anxiety of whether you will do the right thing or if you made the right choices of the past, you can never screw up! You will always be free, no matter where you are, because it doesn’t matter!

Perhaps it will be clearer if I illustrate the inverse. If you believe that everything matters and life is inherently meaningful, then you will always be burdened with the task of living up to your potential. What if I made the wrong choice? What if I waste an opportunity and what if I fail?

Being a nihilist will free you from these worries. You never have to become something or be someone, nothing can ever go wrong! If you just accept the absurdity of this meaningless existence you can live a liberated and, ironically, a meaningful life. It’s almost as if nihilism - which denies religion and afterlife - is a very life affirming philosophy. It forces you to stop searching for something greater, something beyond yourself, some ‘out there’ higher purpose bull shit. Instead, it forces you to be here and now only. Here and now because there is nothing else ( there isn’t even this) .

I cannot really say why I think I am drawn to nihilism. Perhaps there is something to be said about how satisfying it feels to not give a crap about anything. And I think there is something real to that. Nothing can ever bother me if nothing means anything. I’ll be like the bottom of a river bed that everything just rushes over it - water, fish, plants life - but the river bed never changes, never even flinches at what flows by. That is a very comfortable and pleasing mode to move through life in.

However, the same case can be made in reverse. If life is meaningless, you will always be uncomfortable and burdened by thinking; “what is the point?” Never at ease, always missing something, and lacking direction. You’ll be prone to have life slip you by without feeling a need to do something about it. I can imagine that a directionless existence is unpleasant. I mean, just thinking about the last time in my life when I had no direction, no goals or drive - I was incredibly miserable. You probably would be too.

Chassidus, in a sense, is the absolute antithesis of nihilism. Chassidus says that everything is purposeful, nothing is a mistake and every person in every moment has a meaningful task to fulfill. Yes, that sounds daunting. Responsibility is always a little scary. But I think - counterintuitively - that structure, direction and obligation allow for a truly liberated existence. Chassidus gives us that direction and that drive for something greater, something beyond ourselves.

However, Chassidus isn’t life denying in contrast to nihilism. Rather, the goal that chassidus outlines is a unity between the infinite and the finite, the eternal and the now. Chassidus does not require you to negate your life in lieu of something greater, but on the contrary, it teaches that within the present moment, inside the confines of your personality and the reality that surrounds you, is where you will find that higher meaning and true greatness. In simple words, the point is the here and the now. According to chassidus, that is the most satisfying thing in life; to idealize that the ultimate ‘beyond’ is in the ever ’now’.

So why am I a Chossid? It’s just who I am, it’s a part of my DNA. No other philosophy or theology will do it for me, no matter how hard I try. Although I do believe that there is something to learn from everyone. I have to stick on my own path because it’s mine. As my good friend put it to me; “ I don’t prefer English poetry because it is superior, I prefer it because it is my mother tongue. It’s home base, and that is where I am. So too with chassidus, it’s not necessarily better, but it’s my home base. It’s who I am. I was born a chossid and I will die a chossid.”