"Why I write such excellent books"
I feel like I am kidding myself about writing. On the one hand, I want to be a writer. I am even building a persona as a writer; and obviously I do write. However, I don’t actually know shit about writing. I am unguided and am not taking the right steps to develop my craft.
I generally choose to ignore my internal strife in this regard until it is presented to me in an undeniable fashion. Say when I sit with my friend, Moshe- a seasoned writer- while he is critiquing a piece of my work. He makes me aware of my shortcomings and makes me aware of the efforts I need to invest in order to rectify them.
This is usually a very daunting occasion as I am forced to consider; why do I write? Is it because I want to get a thought off my chest? Meaning to say that what I really enjoy is to think and philosophize but I need a way to express my epiphanies, lest they be lost and vain. Or conversely do I care to write? That I am doing it for the craft, for the art, to develop a skill. The difference being whether I am phased by my poor craftsmanship or not.
The true answer is that I write for both reasons. However, I am often disheartened by the amount of work that is demanded in order for me to master my art. In those low moments I think about dropping it all. Yet, when I imagine myself free of the burden to write, I feel empty. In these moments I remember the words of Van Gogh; when asked why he paints, he simply responded: “because I have to”.
I too, write because I have to. I have an insatiable desire to create and to express. It is intrinsic to who I am. Therefore, I conclude that ultimately, the strenuous paths required in order to conquer my expressive, creative shortcomings are worth it.
I too have written, and write …,
When I came to live here in Monsey I was continually calling my Mashpia and moaning and groaning and grappling with life, she encouraged me to write and in those days once I followed her advice , I felt that in order to be whole I had to write. Writing allowed me to shape and clearly understand my experience, it gave me a mirror and it gave me much needed clarity . I bless you to find your flow, to disregard your inner critic and to enjoy the clarity that comes from describing all that you experience exactly as it is, with the right word chosen for the most concise description of all that it is that makes you so wonderfully unique and exactly who you are!
Hatzlachah Rabba, I’m looking forward to reading much more!
It is always interesting to see an author's mind elucidated. Partly because it is a glimmer into another realm of perspective and partly because through writing one can track the elusive development of thought.
Needless to say it was interesting to read. I wish you much luck.
I hope you continue to share your journey with us.
בהצלחה רבה